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Last week I did something that was a pretty big deal for me - I spoke at the largest tech conference in the Baltics. Doing something like this has been a life goal for me and I didn't expect an opportunity to come along so soon. I guess when you do work you're passionate about and share it with the world you stumble across more opportunities to get the message out. 

We spoke about how technology can help us come back to nature. How with its help we can create systems that are more efficient, more adapted to current lifestyles. Of course, we finished our speech talking about our initiative which is the reason we were invited to give the talk in the first place. Once again, doing the work I love has opened the door to new positive experiences and I can only hope that there are more to come.

This has been amazing even remembering the two weeks of anxiety and nervousness before the big day complete with a few mini panic attacks and not being able to eat properly for a couple of days (stage fright is no joke man). However, as soon as we were on that stage and got through the first couple sentences I managed to fully relax and really enjoy sharing our message with the people who came to listen. Also, truly be excited that so many came. Hopefully, I'll keep on doing things that are worth sharing and have more opportunities to do this again in the future.

Thanks to everyone for the support :)

Thoughts: don't only be the supporter

Stop playing it safe playing supporting roles. Sure it can be comfortable simply supporting others, never being the one on the spot. You don't need to make the final decisions and can avoid the worrying, the stress, the self-questioning that comes with that responsibility and learning to navigate unknown areas of life. And being the supporter feels nice. It's nice to be the person people turn to for help and to know that you are part of something good. 

But when you're the supporter you're simply not the one out there getting things done for yourself. You are part of the process, but you're not the one leading the way. You are walking behind, and it's not as rewarding. You're not learning as much, and you're not getting the street smarts and the knowledge of how you deal with the emotions that arise from these new situations. These are things you need to be receiving because these are the experiences that help you grow, learn about yourself, improve and live a full life. 

Sure, supporting others is a crucial role, because everyone needs help and not that many can honestly give it. But supporting shouldn't be the only thing you do. You can't always be helping people eat and not eat anything yourself. Just because you helped someone make dinner who ate the food, does not automatically mean that you did. Them eating does not make you full. You need to eat too. Or rather, be eating the foods that may not taste all that nice at the time or might be unusual at first glance, but in the long run are ones that are vital for you to be healthy and more resilient. 

You are not the fairy godmother which exists solely in other people lives. You are living your story, where you are the protagonist. So live for yourself first. Feeling achievement through others is like needing others to make you happy, others to feel love. Don't give away that power to other people. Don't define yourself through the actions of someone else, through their achievements. You are as capable of taking action of having agency as anyone so why limit yourself to half of the full human experience? Why settle?

Don't disguise your fear of the unknown, of taking the first steps behind altruism, selflessness or self-sacrifice. Living your life for yourself first is not selfish. Being a better, well-rounded, self-aware person benefits everyone. When you are strong, when you know your needs, your strengths and weaknesses you can help others much more efficiently. Most importantly you do not lose or neglect yourself in the process. 

Vine earrings

Any time a friends birthday comes around I start searching for DIY projects I could make as gifts. As my wire wrapping Pinterest album is overflowing I decided it was high time to actually make something from it. After gawking for a good while at all the pretty things people have made I got enough inspiration to make few of my own pieces. As minimalist jewelry is trending quite a bit right now, I decided to make a few very simple earrings. The only twist is that they're vines and so snake up the ear instead of hanging down like standard earrings. Made a cute little photoshoot of them on my baby cactus. Not the best way to accentuate the pieces, but just some fun for me :)

Song of the day

Basically have had this song stuck in my head or repeat for 3 days now. Love this singer, so much feeling in her songs and such interesting vocals too! If you like this song I recommend giving "The Fool" a listen as well as "Octahate". Hope she releases more songs soon. Enjoy! ;)

Status update

The last few months have been pretty hectic with so much going on. Finally, my social project that will help connect young people who want to grow their own food with elderly people who want to share their land and pass down their knowledge is seeing some results. I have learned so much from doing this that no matter what happens next, I am happy to have set off on this mission. Personal growth, new contacts, friends, skills... have all received a huge boost. So grateful to all the people who have gotten involved and so incredible to see that an idea can resonate with someone that they are more than willing to work to make it happen. Registration starts this week and so the moment of truth about whether people will get on board the CoolŪkis train has come. Wish us luck!

Thoughts: Dreams

People say - 'wake up from your dreams and start living in the 'real world'!' But I am not sleeping and that world isn't the real world to me. The world they see is full of broken dreams that have been set aside or forgotten. That is not a world I chose to live in. 

This life is what you make of it and I will chase my dreams, I will make them my reality. Maybe I will never achieve them, but I will live a life I create myself, not the life someone else imagines to be the 'real way' of living. I will travel. I will learn. I will be part of something bigger than myself and I will never let anyone convince me to sell my dreams because that is too big of a price to pay.

Gift crafts

Pretty much played Santa's workshop this year and made my friends and family hand crafted presents. It's been a while since I wasn't coming back from somewhere far away to celebrate Christmas with my family so finally had enough time (and the added bonus of not transporting gifts in my carry-on!) to sit down and make something nice for them. 

A friend and I got this idea that we would sew something and then personalise it by decorating. While she made lovely canvas bags, I went for decorative pillows. Had loads of fun making them even with the slightly tricksy sewing machine that would not turn off on demand... It took time to make them, but it was worth it.

I didn't make enough pillows for everyone so my gift idea number 2 was to make my friends earrings, which also turned out quite nice. This made me finally consider trying to make more and selling them at fairs next year. Who knows, might actually go through with it and make use of all the ideas for creative craft stall displays I've gathered on pinterest over the last few years (the strange things that get me all excited...).

Couple more wire wrapped gifts I made in the past