Stop playing it safe playing supporting roles. Sure it can be comfortable simply supporting others, never being the one on the spot. You don't need to make the final decisions and can avoid the worrying, the stress, the self-questioning that comes with that responsibility and learning to navigate unknown areas of life. And being the supporter feels nice. It's nice to be the person people turn to for help and to know that you are part of something good.
But when you're the supporter you're simply not the one out there getting things done for yourself. You are part of the process, but you're not the one leading the way. You are walking behind, and it's not as rewarding. You're not learning as much, and you're not getting the street smarts and the knowledge of how you deal with the emotions that arise from these new situations. These are things you need to be receiving because these are the experiences that help you grow, learn about yourself, improve and live a full life.
Sure, supporting others is a crucial role, because everyone needs help and not that many can honestly give it. But supporting shouldn't be the only thing you do. You can't always be helping people eat and not eat anything yourself. Just because you helped someone make dinner who ate the food, does not automatically mean that you did. Them eating does not make you full. You need to eat too. Or rather, be eating the foods that may not taste all that nice at the time or might be unusual at first glance, but in the long run are ones that are vital for you to be healthy and more resilient.
You are not the fairy godmother which exists solely in other people lives. You are living your story, where you are the protagonist. So live for yourself first. Feeling achievement through others is like needing others to make you happy, others to feel love. Don't give away that power to other people. Don't define yourself through the actions of someone else, through their achievements. You are as capable of taking action of having agency as anyone so why limit yourself to half of the full human experience? Why settle?
Don't disguise your fear of the unknown, of taking the first steps behind altruism, selflessness or self-sacrifice. Living your life for yourself first is not selfish. Being a better, well-rounded, self-aware person benefits everyone. When you are strong, when you know your needs, your strengths and weaknesses you can help others much more efficiently. Most importantly you do not lose or neglect yourself in the process.
